things i didn't want you to hear

by Nana Rubye

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consolidation of some scattered tracks


released July 16, 2017



all rights reserved


Nana Rubye Bridgeport, Connecticut

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Track Name: productive
I try to keep my hands up above my knees
But when you call me, I'm not feeling well

Like a winter cough that's still not going away
And when you ask it I've got nothing to say

But please don't give up on me
it's more a plea to myself than a thing I would ask anyone

to be or to not be
is more a joke and a dream that I touch with the back of my tongue
Track Name: in the car blues
sometimes it helps to believe I control all the things that I'm feeling
But usually it sucks to be blamed for the things that keep disappearing
I don't know where they go

I haven't made my bed in years and I can't sleep, but I will lie in it
and I could spent the rest of my life in this car with you
and then die in it
I don't know where we're going
Track Name: l. l. been
this jacket smells weird
I bought it the other day at a yard sale
it was good to be out in the autumn with you
I still haven't washed it yet
It smells like a bonfire, mixed with cotton
dusty closets and an army woman's aging perfume

I'm not ready for the winter yet
all the blue and the wind
And its nasty crazy gnashing teeth

this jacket was someone's once
I bought it the other day at a yard sale
It was good to be out in the autumn with you
Track Name: dancing for someone else
every lesson was always intended for me
and if I'd listened, I'd be in a different mess now
But who even knows what that means?

when I'd see you I'd scoot around and I'd dance, like a show
and when I'd hear you, I'd put it on in my headphones
I'd put it on my head phones